filler

when you find
that you have
a moment
of empty space

pause

stop

breathe

and instead of thinking
how can i fill
this empty space?

ask how this empty space
can fill you

light from everywhere

where does darkness
come from?
pay no attention
to my shadow
it follows me
everywhere
sometimes
arriving
before i have left

am i the cause
of this darkness?
i receive the light
the warmth
but i stop it
block it
keep it for myself

what have i done
what have i become
a black cut-out
in the image
of myself
back to me
always me
happiness
on a foundation
of sadness

the confession stings
brings
release
from the pressure
of denial
until
a tear forms
and falls

i am the water
through which the light
scatters
the memories
of a thousand dreams
laughter comes without
hesitation
and finds darkness
is gone

there is always doubt

if you are afraid
of getting tired
never again
begin a journey
never run
bolting till tears
stream backwards
across your cheeks
crying out for you
to turn back
never dance a silly jig
in front of friends
stricken by anxiety
that all this is momentary
that this risk is foolish
without purpose
but
if instead you look forward
to the heady rush
when the land tips forward
so steep you can’t see the bottom
the thought of falling
makes you giggle and squeal
and then beyond that
way out ahead
there is a plain
and you imagine yourself
walking
going onwards
with all that momentum
even though you don’t know
where all this will end

if that’s the case
well
away you go

irreparable

this tree
i chopped down
is more beautiful
than ever

that it must die
is accepted
the connection
is severed

but my heart
leaps like a child
waiting for miracles
i cannot walk away

a whisper of life would
send me back
to cradle what
i have destroyed

prolong a fool’s prayer
that love might
make a fool of physics
and put things back together

what’s the big deal

helmets
it’s only your head

marriage
it’s only the person you’re
going to spend the rest
of your life with

breaks-ups
it’s only your heart