star swing

i wanted to find
the child within
i wanted to lose
the adult without
going through all
that toilet training again

i went to a toy shop
and bought a swing
and a rope
and i left in the hope
of the joy it would bring

i walked for hours
with the swing
in my arms
and a rope
round my neck
looking
looking for somewhere high
for something strong
from which to hang
my childhood swing

but there was nowhere
the trees were either
too low or too weak
and so i wandered off
into the desert

- where there were no trees
and the shadows just memories
of puddles dried

so with nowhere to
hang my swing
and nowhere to
hang my hopes
i asked the child within
where are you?

i looked up
at the burning blue sky
and from a lonely cloud
a single drop fell
it fell salty
into my eye
and i wondered
is that what being
an adult is all about?
tears falling in
instead of falling out?

and so i blinked
and watched the
sun roll down
trickling like drop
in no hurry to reach
the ground

darkness came
and the stars
did their thing
and the ground
disappeared and
i abandoned my swing

i mean what’s the use
when you’re caught in between
what you are now and
what you might’ve been

i can’t play in the dirt
can’t cry and make noise
but i don’t want to grow up
and throw out all my toys

and through the dark desert air
i can’t even see my hand
reaching like a tree root
for the water in the land

now i see near my feet
through the murkiness of night
that i had cried a puddle
and in the reflection was a light

a bright star there
in the middle of the sky
holding something dear
making me want to try

making want to never give up
on even the darkest days
holding up my swing
while the child inside me plays

now when i am darkness
when i’m beginning to unravel
i climb aboard my inner swing
and let the slow arc travel