Time for non-smokers to pay for the privilege

Smokers have been on the losing end of the cigarette for too long. When we buy cigarettes we expect all the goodness of the cigarette to go into our bodies. However, what we don’t realise is that when we exhale most of the cigarette floats away into the air—only a small proportion stays in our lungs where it should be. What is more disturbing is the complete lack of appreciation shown by non-smokers who seem to think that it is their right to breathe our second-hand smoke. Without offering anything towards the price of the cigarettes, they then have the gall to pretend they don’t really like it.

Well, wasted smoke and the appropriation of second-hand smoke may be a thing of the past if a new American invention takes off.

Scientists from the University of Las Vegas have dubbed their latest effort SmokeBag®. SmokeBag® is an ingenious design combining elements of steel, plastic and rubber. The name is derived from the Latin, smokus bagus which literally means “bag on head”. The product itself is a large, clear plastic bag worn over the head and sealed around the neck. SmokeBag® is very simple but it took years to perfect the concept, which says much about the scientists who worked on it. They had to overcome difficult technical problems and often worked late into the afternoon to achieve the final product.

Chief scientist of the project, Dr Rafur Feynt, remembers having problems with the cigarette burning a whole through the plastic. “We designed an adjustable, light-weight internal frame made of chicken wire to keep the plastic away from the head.” Another problem was that the smoke was escaping at the bottom of the bag near the neck whenever the subject took a drag. He describes how they overcame this problem, “We really pulled out all the stops on this one,” he said. “We wanted to do it right, there was no point spending all this time and only going half way.” The answer came to him in September when he was eating biscuits. “It came to me in September while I was eating biscuits. Someone flicked a rubber band at me. So I chased the lab assistant—I was pretty sure it was him—and when I got him I tried to strangle him with the rubber band. There was our answer.”

With renewed vigor, the scientists adapted the original design to accommodate the inspired idea of the rubber band around the neck. Even then, though, there were problems. The initial subjects passed out after only three or four consecutive cigarettes and when Dr Feynt put his head to this problem he came away with burn marks. “After that I encouraged the subjects to let a little bit of air in whenever they took a drag or if they started to feel dizzy.” This proved to be a satisfactory solution and subjects were then able to finish almost a whole pack before collapsing.

But what will smokers make of SmokeBag® when it hits the shops in time for Christmas? We trialled the product in a few cafés and restaurants. Jeff Denizen of Blue Diamond was full of praise, “This is what I’ve been looking for. All these years of resenting my non-smoking friends for breathing my smoke…now it’s all mine.” Cheryl Drake of Sunrise Manor took a different line, “I always tell my kids it’s about getting the most out of every cigarette. Let’s face it, smoking the normal way, there’s so much waste. With SmokeBag® my lungs get all the smoke they need.”

And what about the tobacco companies? What do they think of SmokeBag®? American Tobacco Industries CEO, Shaun O’Kure, was sceptical. At first he thought it was a threat. But he now welcomes the product. “It seems that non-smokers who for so long have been enjoying free second-hand smoke are really going to miss all the lifestyle benefits of cigarettes. We think we’ll see a big uptake of smoking in the youth and family markets.”

The scientists at SmokeBag® aren’t sitting on their butts either. They have plans to release a variation on the original. SmokeBag2®, for couples, will be available in January and JumboSmokeBag® , fun for the whole family, will come out in late March.

And if non-smokers are feeling left out and annoyed that they will no longer get to inhale smoke for free then they are not getting any sympathy from smokers. Mike Offin of North Vegas, a committed four pack-a-day smoker says, “Non-smokers have had it good for too long. It’s about time they paid for the privilege.”