26 September 2005

shafts of light

this might be
where i was
where i sat
with a friend
waiting
for a plane
to carry us
over seas
over time
that trip
has faded

i sit here now
alone in
a different space
between jobs
between girls
at the beginning
of a journey
i don't know why
i'm making

why is my calm
edged with agitation?
why
behind the eyes
a compression
of the carefree
the child-like
the laughter?

i am going
to a friend's wedding
to a place
with fond memories
of sweet observations
of an inexplicable culture
which taunted me
for so long
until i smiled
and joined in
the big joke
on me
on you
on all of us

we are not the same
our differences
brought us together
and maybe my attempts
to be the same
pushed us apart
this time
will be different
we'll be different
and i won't get so upset
when you don't
understand me and
when you don't fit
into my way of thinking

this doesn't have to be
a sickly slide of
reminiscing
when the ones
we're missing
are right here

this can be something new
like a take off
keep going
you can look down
if you want
to see how far
you've come but
god you're dumb
to think that
this is the best
you can do!
take a deep breath
then let it go
like you don't care
or don't know
there's another
one coming

you can let her go too
and what joy
when you find her
still there
in the morning
sun on her sleeping face

let yourself go
while you're at it
while you're taking
that first timid step
that leads to another
another first step
that might seem lonely
or misjudged
but there are so many
good people looking out
for you
shafts of light
through the clouds
making puddles of warmth
along your way

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